Rewarding relationships are based in LOVE
This is an article about experiencing true, fulfilling love. But I have a question to pose. Have you heard of the erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey?” Millions of people have. Although it lacks writing quality, it is an international best seller. This trilogy has sold more than 10 million copies worldwide, its rights have been bought in 37 countries, and it is selling faster than the “Harry Potter” books.
The trilogy’s primary buyers are highly educated and high-earning women -- single and married. But what has spawned fierce analysis and controversy is that the book is a romance novel with a BDSM (meaning Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) twist. The question is posed over and over again: Why does a poorly-written book with a BDSM plot motif become a selling success among well-educated-high-income women?
Romance novels follow a simple formula: Woman meets an attractive, successful, entrancing, and, sometimes, slightly dangerous partner who in the end falls in love and becomes loyal to her. The novels communicate that men/women’s search for love has a good ending.
In the “Grey” book trilogy the formula is somewhat altered by the intensely sexual, BDSM contract between the two central characters. What remains constant in the “Grey” books and others about romance is that they mirror the desires, anxiety and confusion that are typical to romantic obsessions.
But is romantic love worth pursuing? Are highly-charged sexual and romantic obsessions a distortion of love?
Modern psychology emphasizes that romantic-sexual obsessions, however commonly and mistakenly pursued by millions, are not the bond that holds two partners together through the highs and lows of life. To be “in love” and/or to be sexually obsessed is to have a feeble, transitory, confused state of thinking. It is a state of self-hypnosis. Therefore, it is unreliable and self-betraying.
Cutting-edge, psychiatric research also undermines romantic –sexual obsessions. Results inform us that they are mentally debilitating and harmful. In fact, romantic love shows activity in the same zones of the brain that get activated by hatred and violence.
Our understanding of and connectivity to divine LOVE-GOD must be the take-off point for all relationships. Instead of “falling in love,” couples should be “rising in LOVE.” Spiritual sensibility emanates from infinite, divine LOVE and it is what makes us able to bond with someone else in lasting and deeply felt ways. It is clarifies and enhances communication between partners. It heightens their emotional, psychological and sexual connectivity.
C. S. Lewis’ writings on love point us in the direction of plentiful, rewarding, fulfilling, divine LOVE. He describes the mesmeric, counterfeit types of carnal love so that we can recognize their symptoms and avoid them. If we’ve fallen into their trap we can extricate ourselves by re-connecting with bountiful, transcendent LOVE.
In the book “A Severe Mercy” a man relates how he and his wife, who had a deep, loving connection to one another, came to understand, with the help of C.S. Lewis, the riches and rewards available to every relationship by living LOVE’s love.
Christ Jesus’ teachings and actions exemplify LOVE’s love. Christly love infuses all relationships with generosity, compassion, sensibility, patience, forgiveness, and fidelity.
Henry Drummond’s book, “The greatest thing in the world” is a masterpiece of a treatise on LOVE. It teaches us the might, beauty, majesty and joy of relating to and expressing perfect LOVE.
Early 20th century writer and metaphysician, M. B. Eddy, writes, “LOVE. What a word! I am in awe of it. Over what worlds on worlds it hath range and is sovereign! The un-derived, the incomparable, the infinite All of good, the alone God, is Love.”
The infinite LOVE-GOD is the generator of our transcendent, celestial essence. LOVE’s love is natural to our spiritual composition. By staying in rhythm with our LOVE-based nature, we emancipate ourselves of hatred, resentment, selfishness, egotism, fear, loneliness and possessiveness. Spiritual love is healing to our minds, bodies and relationships.
LOVE’s love frees us of materiality’s limitations and harmful entanglements. It frees our minds to express a higher level of intelligence, shields us from others’ malice, gives nobility to our character, and cements us to those who are trustworthy and compatible.
LOVE encompasses all. We are living in LOVE’s unbounded, blessed realm. We are constructed of the elements of LOVE. Health, happiness, purpose, fulfillment and companionship are our heavenly gifts from LOVE.